One Year Ago

I wasn’t planning to go full time on my birthday, but it just happened that way. After a lull in my consulting work I had decided that I wanted to take some classes during the summer in a subject area that has always interested me. Psychology. The plan for a long time had been that sometime late in the summer I would gradually transition my life over and then come out publicly in October. I really wanted to take those classes, but I realized that it didn’t make sense for me to sign up for summer classes only to change my name and appearance during the semester – and add to my stress. So I decided to just move up my schedule and start school as Madelyn. To be honest, I was ready anyway after waiting so long in life – I could have done this much sooner. The first day of class fell on my birthday. By June I was ready to come out publicly, and in July I had legally changed my name.

Even though this year marks thirty-five years (plus ~9 months) on this planet, in a lot of ways it has felt like my first. Everything this year has taken on new meaning as I went on a family trip for the first time, attended my hometown church for the first time, went on a job interview for the first time, started a new job for the first time, and so many other things that I’ve done many times in the past and taken for granted; I’ve done them as if for the first time.

My first year as Madelyn has been an amazing experience with so many moments of happiness and beauty, and my fair share of tears too. I guess this is the case any time a new life enters the world.

I’ve gone through the whole birthday thing quite a few times in life now; you know, making a wish, and blowing out the candles and all. This year, for the first time, I don’t need to wish to be me.

12 thoughts on “One Year Ago”

  1. Fran

    Maddie,

    A humongous congratulations! That’s a lot to take on in one year, and you’re doing a great job. Keep it up! And, oh yeah, happy (re)birthday!

  2. Tommie

    I was hoping you would blow us a kiss! There used to be something in your eyes that isn’t there any more. Or maybe there WASN’T something in your eyes that IS there now. In any case, you are a beautiful woman and I wish you a very happy second birthday!

  3. Harold

    Happy Birthday Madelyn! It’s great to see the first year in video. As your parents we now can see the unhappiness in your eyes in the beginning of this. Now we see the real you and hope you have a great second year! Dad

  4. Sheila

    Madelyn, You took us on a condensed journey that showed a lot of the pain, questioning, decision making and finally becoming your authentic self in such a beautiful way. It brought back so many memories of all the times and places we have shared as a family. Love you so much and wish we were able to celebrate your “First Birthday” with you today as the new you, and what a beauty you are!

    Love, Mom

  5. judy

    Aww Maddie!!!! I’m sitting here at work at my desk crying my eyes out! Happy tears and some tears of hurt seeing that something was missing in the beginning. I can only imagine how happy you are to be YOU!!! I LOVE YOU and am proud of you!!!! Happy biryhday!!!!!!

  6. S J Boynton

    Hey Madelyn, happy belated birthday! I haven’t visited your blog in a while but I decided to check it out. Thanks for sharing this beautiful video collage of your journey of becoming who you were always meant to be. I have to say I like your fashion style! (I wish girls around here dressed more like you.) All the best on your “second year”!

    -J-

  7. Noemi

    It is undeniable that you look now much more beautiful than a year ago, and what is more important, you look so much happier!

    I wish your happiness keeps growing as your confidence in your true self increase. And in the not so good days, make up, do your hair, paint your nails and wear a nice dress and high heels. I tell you it really helps!

    Happy birthday!

  8. Laura (Aagaard)

    I’ve been following your story for a while, but didn’t see this until tonight. What a beautiful transformation! You finally look at home in your body, comfortable in your skin.

    You are a lovely woman, my friend. Just lovely. You have such light and love in your eyes.

    xoxo

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