I wasn’t planning to go full time on my birthday, but it just happened that way. After a lull in my consulting work I had decided that I wanted to take some classes during the summer in a subject area that has always interested me. Psychology. The plan for a long time had been that sometime late in the summer I would gradually transition my life over and then come out publicly in October. I really wanted to take those classes, but I realized that it didn’t make sense for me to sign up for summer classes only to change my name and appearance during the semester – and add to my stress. So I decided to just move up my schedule and start school as Madelyn. To be honest, I was ready anyway after waiting so long in life – I could have done this much sooner. The first day of class fell on my birthday. By June I was ready to come out publicly, and in July I had legally changed my name.
Even though this year marks thirty-five years (plus ~9 months) on this planet, in a lot of ways it has felt like my first. Everything this year has taken on new meaning as I went on a family trip for the first time, attended my hometown church for the first time, went on a job interview for the first time, started a new job for the first time, and so many other things that I’ve done many times in the past and taken for granted; I’ve done them as if for the first time.
My first year as Madelyn has been an amazing experience with so many moments of happiness and beauty, and my fair share of tears too. I guess this is the case any time a new life enters the world.
I’ve gone through the whole birthday thing quite a few times in life now; you know, making a wish, and blowing out the candles and all. This year, for the first time, I don’t need to wish to be me.