Since starting transition I have become aware of the fact that I am living a transsexual lifestyle. It wasn’t something I realized on my own. After all, to me I’m just living life. Fortunately more as come to light as I’ve had a few acquaintances tell me that while they respect my right to do whatever I want to do – they disagree with the transsexual lifestyle part. Now that a year has passed since I started living full time as a woman, I think I’m starting to get a good handle on what this transsexual lifestyle is all about and thought I would share it all with you.
I guess the best place to start is just to go through my typical day. I wake up around 7:00AM or so when my alarm clock goes off and head right for the shower. These days I’ve been only washing my hair every-other day (unless I get it dirty or sweat or something) because I find if I wash it too much it gets brittle. After the shower I’ll throw some clothes in the dryer (to get the wrinkles out) and then start blow drying my hair, putting on my makeup, and getting ready. In all it takes me about 60-90 minutes to get ready for work and do my morning routine. I’m not super fast at it, but that’s okay because in a way it’s a kind of meditation to be honest.
I drive myself to work, and on a good morning I can get there in about 10 minutes (from the new house I share with Samantha – YAY). Work involves working in Excel spreadsheets, building PowerPoint presentations, attending conference calls, making presentations, and working through lunch. There’s a salad bar and coffee shop in the base of the building – sometimes I’ll just run down and grab something to eat there and bring it back up to my desk. It’s stressful some days, and other days the pace is perfect. Sometimes I wish I had time to meet a friend for lunch, but usually that’s out of the question. Ideally I’m off work by around 6:00PM, but lately I’ve been working much later.
When I get home I’m pretty tired. But sometimes I’ll do little chores around the house (lately it’s been unpacking boxes), or run to the grocery store, or sometimes I’ll watch at little TV. I really like watching The Amazing Race, or Once Upon a Time. I might check Facebook and respond to any personal messages. The evenings always seem too short though, and soon it’s time for bed. I really like to get 8 hours of sleep if I can – but sometimes I just can’t do it because I end up staying up too late.
Weekends might start out with going out to dinner with Samantha or another friend, or even just doing some cooking around the house. I really like making homemade sourdough bread, or kimchi, or even kombucha. On Saturdays and Sundays I try to relax, or maybe work on thinking about the next family trip we can plan, or maybe just doing little things around the house. Sometimes I’ll go on a hike, or go to a festival of some kind (we went to a Mother Earth News fair once that was so cool, and a Vegetarian food festival, and several gardening meetups).
After a restful weekend I’m back into the rat race again; er, I guess I mean the “transsexual” rat race.
To me, this transsexual lifestyle just seems quite average. It’s pretty rare that I go out to a bar or anything – the last time I went was when a co-worker was having his last day at the office before moving to another job. I shared an order of french fries and sipped something fruity but never finished it. I’m not much of a drinker. I do have other addictions though; I crave quality relationships with friends, I love spending time with my family, and I really like experiencing new food. I like our cat. I seek authentic spiritual and intellectual meaning in life that transcends religious dogma. I do wish I could travel a little more too; I miss that. So I guess I do have addictions of a sort; but these aren’t really new addictions – I’ve always had them.
My sex life was only ever monogamous; I’ve only ever been with one person.
I know that this lifestyle doesn’t sound very exciting or thrilling or anything. I guess it’s not really. It just feels really normal. It’s probably a pale comparison to the heterosexual/cissexual lifestyle.
I guess I don’t entirely understand why this lifestyle would be objectionable though. I mean, compared to a lot of my non-trans friends growing up, and even compared to many of my more traditional friends now I’m quite vanilla. If these are the things that make up my transsexual lifestyle, I wonder what a non-transsexual lifestyle is like?
Okay. Truthfully I haven’t just now become aware of this ridiculous “transsexual lifestyle” stereotype. As a matter of fact, I too used to really misunderstand what being a transsexual was all about. But now I am one – not because some lifestyle choice was attractive to me, but because I happen to meet the medical definition of what a transsexual is. This “transsexual lifestyle” stuff is just silly, neither my way of life nor my values are materially different than what they’ve been my entire life.
I can honestly say I don’t think anyone who truly knows me would say the life I live is objectionable. But in the realm of imagination, I guess it’s easy to judge.